As I’m about to sleep, suddenly I realizes something that strikes my unconscious dull mind. And yes. We never stop questioning ourselves. As in the end.. we realize.. That in life.. sometimes.. ( PAUSE ) sometimes..
We never stop realizing. We are for who we are. We can lie. But we can never be who we really are by lying. There was a great artist, said that, he was an asshole. But for that reason he became an artist because he was never afraid of being an asshole. For his just being himself. As he just wanted the freedom and the expression of being an asshole, as he is. And for that reason… He became a great artist. It is freedom of speech my friend that I’m talking about.
We never stop realizing. We are for who we are. We can lie. But we can never be who we really are by lying. There was a great artist, said that, he was an asshole. But for that reason he became an artist because he was never afraid of being an asshole. For his just being himself. As he just wanted the freedom and the expression of being an asshole, as he is. And for that reason… He became a great artist. It is freedom of speech my friend that I’m talking about.
When you thought that you have already figure it out, think again and you realize that you were never outside the box. Things are not always what you thought it seems to be. As you realize when you see it at a different point of view. Things change as the world keep on moving. And sometimes you try to say something by using some one else vocal. And keep talking about all those gibberish bullshit. But it is absolute essential that at one time in your life you try to explore and experiment but at the end get locked in the incredibly rigid way of thinking.
There was this one guy, who actually falls for a girl that became his subject in life. But he realizes that he was never good enough for the girl as there was another guy who actually she loves. And so the guy tried to impress her as he tries to be the best by using others vocal. As his not being himself. So he struggles to find his own voice. The trophy is the girls’ heart. But at the end he realizes that to win the trophy, he just got to be himself. That the best out from him is his own voice that came from his deepest heart of life. But life will not always be going your way my friend. And it is absolute that not every one in this fucking world will love you or as I’m talking about your own voice. But believe me, there will be nothing in this freaking world will give such a great feeling to compare with when what you say inspired only one single person in this whole bloody world.
Anyways, why do men have to be in such a way? If the “Kaaba” were suddenly lifted up out of the world; we would see that each person is really bowing, five times a day, to his fellow human beings. So why are we being so egoistic. Today, of course, more often than not, it is greed and suspicion towards our “fellow human beings” which determine the course of our actions. How it open up my eyes in such a way.
But yet, we are born different. We are for who we are. Our history, how we were brought up, our deep dark secret, our friends and family, what we saw or what we read, that makes us who we really are. At the end we get the understanding of life and realize that we will keep on realizing as we will never stop learning. For today, I realize, what am I doing wasting my time dreaming? For all this time, I was sleeping and dream of something that is so unreal. And man god knows how I do love to sleep. That is where I get my cool lazy eyes. But anyway, it seems like my hopes and dreams are empty. I realize that in life there’s a bigger picture to fill in. Such a big world to explore and such a rigid mind I was living with. Never to realize that who am I and what I am supposed to be. As I know for sure that my love is in cinema. It’s all I have and what I know. But for any reason it is, I will still living in a dream. Dream that gave me hopes and hopes that gave me the will to survive. And in this restless dream I walk alone. I know that I am the one who will be taking the long road to where I’m going. Hopes and dreams.
Yet somehow, I hate saying all this gibberish nonsense but I do hope that someday I will find someone who really understands. And so, I do keep telling my self; if you really are honest, or you think it is for what it is nor you are for who you really are; believe that it is for what it is. Yet in a way, I won’t lose anything as I do believe in karma. Unquote. Dengan sopan santunnya saya nak tidur lar. Manusia bodoh yang tak sedar keberadaan diri ni dah sangat mengantuk dengan hebatnya…
Oh jap.. satu lagi, last ; When you see a picture is not just a picture nor a poem is not a poetry; that is when we can really talk. So until then, I will always keep my head down.